


A thousand to one against

by rudbeckia



Series: Mashup Meme Fics [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Attraction, Fantasizing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Marriage of Convenience, Sharing a Bed, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:32:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Mashup meme prompts: marriage of convenience & unexpected virginHux likes to watch Ren train. Ren likes to watch Hux give orders on the bridge.They each make assumptions about the other’s sexual habits and vow that  they will never fall forthat kind of person.On a trip to Canto Bight, Hux and Ren are made aware that their poor relationship is local gossip and is harming their chances of getting extra credits out of the First Order’s supporters. Something needs to be done: a grand gesture that will convince their financiers that all is well at the top.





	A thousand to one against

He’s not spying. He’s monitoring officer training patterns.

Hux tells himself that every time he calls up the security feed from the gymnasium on level four. Kylo Ren is working on calisthenics. He starts with stretches, each performed as a set of three, and Hux watches hungrily as Ren shows himself to be far more supple than his bulk might suggest. The range of poses he adopts is, Hux thinks, acrobatic and almost pornographic. He imagines a scenario where Ren decides to perform the same routine nude and a hint of warmth in his groin makes Hux look around, embarrassed, as if there was anyone to detect his slight arousal. Of course there is not: it’s the end of esk-shift and Hux is in his private chambers dressed in his robe and drinking one last flask of tea before bed. 

Hux watches as Ren shakes himself out, arms then legs, loose wavy hair damp from exertion. Hux imagines how it must feel, warm and a little clingy. He wants to run his fingers through it then grab a handful and pull Ren’s head forward and down so that he can reach those parted lips, suck Ren’s lower lip between his own and... yes. He wants to bite. Hux pulls on the tie holding his robe closed and the knot slips undone. The smooth fabric slides over his skin as the robe falls open and he feels daring for exposing so much flesh even though he knows he’s alone. He’s had meetings with Kylo Ren in this room. What if the hulking brute were here now? That thought has Hux’s cock hard and he hasn’t even touched it yet.

The display continues. Ren moves on to practise the slow, fluid manoeuvres of his favourite sword-forms with a wooden baton standing in for his lightsaber. He works through the same sequence faster and faster until he is a whirl of motion, powerful yet still graceful. He stops and discards the baton, and Hux leans forward, one hand gently fondling his balls while the other clasps loosely around his shaft, anticipating what Ren might do next. As Hux predicts, Ren peels off his training vest to reveal the rippling muscles of his broad torso, shiny with perspiration. Ren stretches again. His hand reaches out and his lightsaber hilt flies into it. While Ren practises, all red glow and blurring motion, Hux teases himself until he’s on the point of losing control then takes his hands off himself and sits back, legs wide, flushed cock leaking and twitching against his pale belly. He thinks he could turn off the camera feed, close his eyes and come just from the fantasy of Ren wanting him like this. He imagines how Ren’s mouth would feel on his cock and it’s almost enough to send him spiralling into his orgasm. That master of physical perfection! Hux wonders how many people Ren has seduced with his powerful, beautiful body and brooding, dark looks. Surely a lot, not that it matters to Hux since he’s never going to fall for it. It won’t be Hux who’s the next fragile heart to be seduced and shattered as he’s dropped for the next casual conquest in what must surely be a very long list. 

The thought makes Hux’s arousal subside a little and he sighs in pleasure at the thought that he can make this last a bit longer. Ren puts his lightsaber down and beckons one of the sturdy, wide-based exercise droids. He leans over it for a few seconds, back to the camera, then busies himself pushing against the handles of its hydraulic rams and pulling back with a slow, regular cadence that makes Hux want to trail his finger through the sweat sheen on Ren’s bulging biceps then lick it clean. Hux grips his cock again and cups his balls. Ren speeds up, making the exercise droid rock back and forward. Hux speeds up too. He can see that Ren’s teeth are gritted and he’s frowning with effort. After another mesmerising two minutes, the droid flies back and hits the wall while Ren raises his arms, mouth open in a grunt or a shout that Hux wishes he could hear as he comes over his own chest.

Perhaps he will see to it that microphones are installed in all training facilities. 

***

Kylo Ren strides onto the bridge at the start of besh-shift and walks up to stand beside Hux.  
“Good morning, Supreme Leader,” Hux says in false bright tones, waving a hand at the viewports. “Is there something you need? I am rather busy, as you can see.”  
Ren looks out at the dogfight in progress: TIEs against a rabble of souped-up pirate junkers. Hux barks a command and it is followed with a terse acknowledgement. Ren picks up on a feeling that Hux is playing with his doomed prey like a cat with a nest of spiders, and Hux’s slight smile confirms it. He knows he should be repelled but he’s not. There’s something about watching Hux in action that Ren finds seductive. The general is so sure of himself and he directs the battle as if he were conducting an orchestra. Ren steps aside to let Hux look into the datapit on his right.  
“Oh, well done, Paze!”  
The officer worthy of praise stands a little taller and blushes. Ren scowls and wonders if Hux will follow up his scant praise with a more private reward later, perhaps inviting the petty officer to give him a personal breakdown of the battle manoeuvres in his office.  
Hux moderates his tone now that everyone can see how the battle is going to end. He appears relaxed as he orders the TIEs to herd the pirate ships together and Ren can sense his anticipation and growing satisfaction of the final move he has planned. With a sharp smile, Hux nods at the officer on the weapons console.  
“Ventral cannon?”  
“Hot, sir.”  
Ren watches Hux take a deep breath and allow his smile to widen into a grimace. All signs of softness are gone and he yells, “FIRE!”  
Out of the forward viewport, a searing line shows the path of the weapon. The first pirate ship explodes in a bright cloud of burning vapour that sets off its neighbours. In an expanding sphere of destruction, the pirate ships are reduced to shrapnel. Ren nods his acknowledgement of a well-executed exercise to Hux, who ignores him in favour of praising Opan’s aim. 

Later in his suite, the Supreme Leader feels restless. He knows what’s wrong and it is easy to fix. Ren removes his outer layers and sits cross-legged on his floor and empties his mind. Once his breathing is relaxed, he concentrates on his memory of the feel of Hux’s mood on the bridge earlier. He imagines being one of the officers singled out for praise, perhaps the one who had the privilege of responding to Hux’s command to fire. He touches himself through his leggings, just light pressure, as he thinks about how Hux would tell him _good job_ and get back to work, but glance at him again from time to time in a way that would make him understand that Hux wanted him. Other officers might notice but they would feel only envy that he was the lucky one today. 

As his fantasy develops, Ren imagines Hux summoning him to his office to give a report on weapons status. He’d grab his datapad and march behind Hux to the small office just off the bridge with every other officer following him with their eyes. Maybe he would glance round and sneer at them. In Hux’s office, Ren would begin to deliver his report but fantasy-Hux would cut him short.  
“You know that’s not what you’re here for.”  
“Sir?”  
“I order you to suck my cock.”  
“Yes sir.”  
Hux would push his chair back and Ren would kneel, unfasten Hux’s trousers and find lace underneath. He’d admire it vocally then put his hot mouth over the fine fabric and work his lips until Hux’s cock strained to be free of the flimsy garment and its head poked over the top. Hux would shimmy and push his trousers and panties down and Ren would take his whole cock into his mouth. In Ren’s fantasy, Hux would be driven wild, brought to the edge by his tongue, then Ren would pull off and sit back while Hux cursed at him for being a tease. Ren would smile and say, “Yes general. I am.”  
“Well then, do you want to know what happens to officers who tease me so?”  
“Yes general.”  
“I bend them over and fuck them. Hard and fast until I come. Is that what you want to make me do with you?”  
Ren would look down and smile slowly. “Yes, general,” he’d say then raise his eyes to meet Hux’s cool glare. Hux would suck his lip and go pink.  
“Get yourself ready for me,” he’d say. 

Ren shifted from sitting cross-legged with his cock in his hand to kneeling and leaning forwards over his chair. As he lubed his hand and fingered himself until he was ready to take his favourite dildo, he imagined doing so with Hux watching. He imagined the sounds Hux might make at the sight of his hard cock bobbing free of his leggings and swinging between his legs as he rocked back onto his own hand. He’d look back over his shoulder and catch Hux staring at his cock, mouth open and cheeks flushed red. Ren fantasised that as soon as he was loose enough Hux would roughly pull his arm to get his hand out of the way and enter him fast enough to burn, then stay still moaning in pleasure for a minute before setting a punishing pace of thrusts that would hit his prostate every time. Ren would beg Hux to get him off too but Hux would refuse and say that Ren hadn’t earned it yet. Hux wouldn’t last. He’d come hard and collapse onto Ren’s back, muttering that Ren was the best he’d had and he’d earned a reward and that he wanted to get his mouth on Ren’s glorious cock. Hux would order him to stand with his hands on the desk and he’d suck Ren off and finger him until he came all over Hux’s face.

Ren cleaned up and laughed at his stupidity. Hux was a user, he was sure. His climb to power as the youngest general in the First Order must have come with moral compromise: Hux must have sucked and fucked his way into the favour of the old imperials who founded the Order and, in turn, he must be bestowing favours upon his underlings to keep them loyal to him alone.

Well. He was good enough beat-off material but there was no way Kylo Ren would ever _actually_ get involved with some one as amoral and unprincipled as Hux.

***

Canto Bight, thinks Hux, is a shining example of everything that’s wrong with the galaxy, but until the First Order and its business partners (who think themselves independent but can be legally and forcibly taken over in good time) have gained a monopoly in weapons manufacture, shipbuilding and banking, it is a carbuncle of a necessity. He’s here with the Supreme Leader to put on a show of smooth power and calm order, whilst negotiating for an increase in funds from a few key investors. It has been a difficult time for the leaders of the Order. Leader Ren still refuses to promote him although he has stated his case clearly on several occasions, and has been impossible to work with. Ren has been pulling stunts like countermanding Hux’s orders at the last minute and sending good officers out on wild goose chases on a whim without running his plans by Hux first. They have argued about it. First in private in Hux’s office where Hux was sure Ren was goading him deliberately, then in public in the corridor outside the interrogation rooms after Hux’s methods failed to secure reliable information and Ren’s ended up with the potentially valuable captive rebel spy being permanently silenced for want of oxygen. Since then they have avoided each other as much as it is possible for the two most powerful people in the galaxy, residing on the same star destroyer, to achieve. 

At least here in the casino, thinks Hux, Ren will have to behave. He choses a table and sits, picks up a drink when a service droid brings a tray and nurses it while he waits. At the table behind him, the loud laughs of the financially entitled make him shudder. He’s out of uniform since military affiliations are not welcomed openly in this monument to money, but he’s sure he carries his insignia in his bearing. There’s a guffaw and the obnoxious voice brays out again. Hux isn’t eavesdropping, he has droids for that, but he can’t help but freeze at what the fool behind him is saying.  
_”Oh haw haw haw I heard that boy-wizard that calls himself Supreme Leader and his little ginger brat of a general can’t stand to be in the same room as one another.”_  
_”Awhawhaw I heard the same from Chancellor Alberida. Apparently he thinks the rebellion will rise again because the so called leaders of the First Order are to busy fighting each other instead of the enemy.”_  
Hux murmurs into the commlink on his lapel to find out who the loose-lipped chancellor is and deal with it. He does not get a reply but he knows Opan will do his job. There’s a promotion in it for him as soon as Hux gets his Grand Marshal cape.  
_”Well the pair of them are here on Cantonica. You think they’ll freeze one another out or will be be treated to a public slanging match? Shall we open a little wager?”_

Hux stands up and moves to a different part of the casino, somewhere busy enough that he will not be able to hear individual conversations. A few moments later, Ren sits opposite. His hair is carefully braided back from his face and his clothing suggests he’s a tourist. Ren frowns at Hux and leans forwards.  
“General, we have an image problem.”  
Hux starts and leans in too to be heard despite the chatter around them. “You think! I just heard people betting on whether or not we’d argue in public!”  
“I was asked if I would like to put a thousand credits on you slapping my face.”  
Hux almost drops his untouched drink. “And did you?”  
“No!” Ren leans even closer and Hux feels breath tickle his ear. “I had to specify which cheek and I couldn’t remember which is your dominant side.”  
Hux rolls his eyes. “This is serious, Ren. If this spreads we will find it impossible to raise the funds for expansion. Our shipyards are at capacity and we already struggle to recruit sufficient troops and officers to fill our new star destroyers. We need a gesture that will convince our partners that the First Order leadership is working harmoniously.”  
Ren shrugs. “I could kill you and take over alone. That would solve all our disagreements.”  
“Ha ha,” Hux glares. “You want the military to do what you want? You have to make me want it too. They obey me.”  
Ren does the last thing Hux expects. He laughs. Hux softens his expression and leans close again. “Seriously, Ren. What are we going to do to make sure we are seen as one, unshakeable unit in command of the galaxy?”  
Ren looks away and bites his lip. Hux watches as Ren’s face cycles through a range of microexpressions that Hux has become attuned to over their years of antagonistic partnership. Ren looks at Hux again after a minute, mischief in his eyes. Hux sits back.  
“No.” He shakes his head. “Oh, no.”  
Ren slips down onto one knee and takes Hux by the hand. The room falls silent as even the server droids stop pouring drinks and collecting glassware. It’s as quiet as if the casino itself is holding its breath. 

“Grand Marshal Armitage Hux, I have admired you as long as we have known each other and I believe you have come to feel the same for me. Will you consent to be my chosen life partner?”  
Hux’s heart is pounding in his chest, he feels light headed and his face feels hot. He looks around him to see in horror that every single, pair or cluster of eyes rests on him.  
“I...”  
He looks down at Ren. Ren kisses his hand.  
“Um...”  
He looks around again and sees that two of their most lucrative financiers have come to see what’s going on. Something in him breaks and he’s flooded with calm certainty that this is right.  
“Yes,” he says. Then again louder as a cheer erupts. “Yes! Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, I accept.”  
Somewhere at a table nearby, Hux hears a six-eyed, furry-eared alien nudge its neighbour and growl, “I just won a ten-credit bet at thousand to one against. Buy you a drink?” 

Even Hux is astonished by how quickly a wedding can be organised when the Council of Canto Bight decides that the event of the year should take place in their city. Flowers arrive in Hux’s suite, along with a flurry of tailors, chefs with sample menus, decorators with colourful fabric swatches and, finally, Kylo Ren. The Supreme Leader is amused by the fuss but consents to be measured for an outfit that the dressmaker promises will convey both his royal and imperial family history along with a sense of fashion that will not date. Hux insists he will have his new uniform sent until Ren tells him privately that there isn’t one made for him yet, the promotion was a sweetener. Hux bristles and grits his teeth but he knows he’s earned it properly and tells Ren sharply, to Ren’s annoying laughter, as the dressmaker takes notes on what it should look like. 

Three days after Ren’s fake-proposal and Hux’s fake-acceptance, they are real-married in a lavish ceremony that lasts only as long as necessary before the guests are ushered out to eat buffet food and squander their credits in the casino. Hux and Ren are civil to their guests, many of whom Hux doesn’t know and he has Opan research every name in case any of them turn out to be useful. After the ceremony, Hux wants to go back to his room and prepare his report on their successful acquisition of funding for a push into the unknown regions where Hux has seen reports of a mineral rich system ripe for exploitation. But as he approaches the casino-hotel’s lobby, a bellhop runs up to him and stops, out of breath.  
“Sir! Congratulations! May I escort you to your honeymoon suite?”  
“Honeymoon suite?” Hux frowns. “Oh. I suppose you may.”  
“Your husband is already there. Follow me.”  
Hux sighs and presses two fingers to the bridge of his nose, then follows. He can feel the start of a headache, probably brought on by the stress of keeping up this insane charade. Upon tipping the bellhop, opening the door and stepping into his suite, though, the pressure lifts. It is magnificent. 

“Stars, this opulence is grotesque,” Ren says, sprawled on the sofa, gesturing at the chandeliers and the gold paint and the fine fabric furnishings. “There’s even a bottle of champagne from a vintage before my birth.”  
“There is?” asks Hux, walking over when Ren points at a cooler. He reads the label and nods approvingly as if he’s ever tasted such luxury. “Shame to waste it.” He pops the cork and pours two glasses, careful not to spill when it fizzes up and threatens to overflow. He hands one to Ren, who sniffs it and pulls a face. “Oh come on, Ren, you must have had champagne before.”  
Ren takes a sip and then another. Within a couple of minutes Hux is refilling their glasses. 

Hux knows he should be careful around Ren but the wine makes him feel warmer towards his new husband. He’s not much of a drinker. Despite the collection of fine spirits and wines from around the galaxy that he keeps in his suite on The Finalizer, it’s mostly for show and he’s capable of nursing the same drink for hours without taking a sip whilst his rivals get drunk and carelessly talkative. Ren confesses after his second glass that he has not had alcohol since he became Snoke’s apprentice because Snoke claimed alcohol dulls the senses and confuses the mind. 

Once the bottle is empty, Hux bids Ren goodnight and says he will go to bed. Ren sniggers and Hux glares at him.  
“Well? I have had a long day. We return to The Finalizer tomorrow and I want to look rested when I arrive wearing my fine new uniform.” Hux sighs and pushes to his feet.  
“Bed,” says Ren, giggling. “The. Bed.”  
Realisation dawns warm on Hux’s face. “Oh karking sith,” he says. “Honeymoon suite. One bed.”  
“It’s big,” supplies Ren. Ren gets up and lumbers into the other room. Hux follows. Ren turns to look at Hux. “You look nice,” he says. “In your new uniform. You should keep it on.”  
“What, sleep in it?” Hux shakes his head and takes off the wide belt that cinches his tunic. “It’ll crease.”  
“You’ll look so good on the bridge.” Ren sits on the bed. “Giving all those orders with your cape swishing and your hair so bright.” Ren shuffles back and lies down. “See? Big enough. I like watching you on the bridge. Sometimes I think about it later when I need to... relax. You’re so competent. I like you when you’re conducting battles.”  
“High praise indeed,” says Hux, undressing to his underwear and hanging his uniform carefully. “I suppose I like you when you’re training,” he admits. “You have a certain physical... grace. Um. When you say you think about me... um, do you mean...” Ren grins and goes red. Hux actually wants to smile at how adorable he can be. “We could, you know, if you want.” 

As soon as the words are out Hux wishes he could recall them. Ren has his eyes closed and Hux hopes that he hasn’t heard, that the moderate intake of alcohol he’s had has sent him to sleep. But Ren rolls onto his side and props himself up on one elbow.  
“What’s wrong?” Ren asks quietly. “We were getting along well and now it’s like a blast door slammed down.”  
“You’ll laugh at me,” says Hux, walking into the main room to fetch his cape. When he returns, he adds, “it will be another humiliation to add to the list.”  
“What?” Ren sighs. “I promise. No laughing. No humiliation.”  
“Well then,” Hux sighs and sits on the edge of the bed with his back to Ren. “I am sure you are very well practised in the art of being a lover. I am not. In fact, I have never—“  
“What!”  
“You promised!” Hux turns to face Ren, grimacing in anger.  
“No! No, no. Hux, I only meant... what about all your lieutenants? They look at you... well. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know what they’re thinking. You could take your pick and they’d think themselves lucky to have your attention, however temporary your affections.”  
“I am sorry that I am not as awash with lovers as you must be!” Hux sighs. “I know. I mean, I could have with a couple of them but how could I show such affection then send them on a mission from which they might not return? So I choose not to indulge in intimate acts with other officers or crew in case it compromises my ability to issue difficult orders. Even when I was a lieutenant then a captain I did not seek out the company of senior officers. As a result I have never been—”  
“Fucked,” Ren supplies. One of his huge, warm hands splays across Hux’s shoulder and Ren slides into place beside him. “Me neither. There never seemed to be the right opportunity. A kiss and a quick fumble that went nowhere in a dark corner at school is the total of my experience, unless you count this?” Ren brandishes his free hand in front of Hux. Hux snorts and laughs.  
Ren smiles and kisses Hux. It’s not the deep, passionate embrace Hux fantasised about but it’s nice. Ren’s smile broadens into a grin and he says, “So, what would you like to do on this, our wedding night, in the honeymoon suite where there is only one bed?”  
Hux thinks for a moment. He has to make it easier for himself since he has no idea how to proceed with Ren. He catches his lip and chews it then says, “I like watching you train. What if you cleared a space in the other room, took your clothes off and showed me one of your routines?”  
“Only,” says Ren with a glint, “if you order me to do it.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts are [here](https://nofootprintsinsalt.tumblr.com/post/174276626494/fanfiction-trope-mash-up) and always welcome:  
> https://nofootprintsinsalt.tumblr.com/post/174276626494/fanfiction-trope-mash-up


End file.
